


Without Knowing How, Or When, Or From Where

by FarenMaddox



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Disabled Character, Domestic Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 04:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4290603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarenMaddox/pseuds/FarenMaddox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fai has been living a half-life the past few years, full of temporary jobs and pushing away friends and family.  When he helps a cute guy move into an apartment, little does he know he's about to be adopted and brought back to the land of the living.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative working title: 'I woke up early and didn't want to get out of bed, and this happened in my brain so I wrote it down.' I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS THINKING, IT JUST HAPPENED.
> 
> The actual title comes from Sonnet XVII of Pablo Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets.
> 
> "...I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,  
> I love you directly without problems or pride:  
> I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love..."

Mister Y. Kurogane was supposed to be here to unlock the apartment door nearly fifteen minutes ago.

The other two guys got bored and got out to ogle at the women in the apartment community pool. Cute. It was a hot day, but Fai elected to stay in the truck and listen to the radio while they waited for their customer.

Fai piled his long hair into a high, messy bun and closed his eyes against the glare of the sun, sighing in relief at the tiny shiver of breeze on the back of his neck. The two charmers he was working with would spew some weird and baseless homophobic and/or misogynistic crap at him over this new hairdo, more than likely. He'd gotten the measure of them two weeks ago when he started working for the company. They were predictable, ass-scratching cat-calling underachievers.

_It's temporary_ , he reminded himself.

Just like being a coffee barista and a receptionist and every other minimum-wage job he'd landed in the past few years had been.

“Temporary is my middle name,” he muttered. Then he cranked up the radio and hummed along to Rush. The classic rock station was the compromise he'd reached with the other two.

A battered old Jeep pulled up alongside him.

“Hey,” the guy said from the driver's seat, sounding slightly breathless. “You're the movers from J.J.'s?”

“That would be us,” Fai said lazily, taking his sunglasses from the collar of his shirt and putting them on so he could get a look at the guy without being blinded by the glare of sunlight off the Jeep's mirrors. “You're Y. Kurogane.”

“It's Youou, but seriously, Kurogane's easier, so just call me Kurogane.”

“You're also late, Kuro-guy.” Fai drawled.

They had a policy of waiting for a half hour before taking the truck back to the office and waiting to hear from the customer, and this guy had been pushing the limit.

“I'm really sorry about that,” the guy said, raking a hand through spiky black hair in embarrassment. Or possibly annoyance at being called 'Kuro-guy.' He then drummed his fingers on the top of a plastic cooler in his passenger seat. “I figured since it's damn hot I could get you guys some cold drinks. Didn't realize the store would be so busy, it was a pain getting out of there. I called your office to let them know I was on my way. They didn't tell you?”

“What kinda cold drinks?” Lou asked, ambling up with curiosity and sweat stains spreading from his pits. He heard the last comment and turned to Jorge. “Yo, Jorge, pull your cell phone outta your ass crack when it rings and answer it, huh?”

Jorge dug into his pocket and swore at the sight of two missed calls from the office.

Fai rolled his eyes dramatically—sunglasses covered a multitude of sins—and slithered out of the driver's seat. “Well, let's get started working up a thirst, then, huh?” he said as brightly as he could muster.

Mr. Youou Kurogane nodded. “Can one of you guys grab this cooler? It's just water and soda, thought I might get you in trouble if I gave you beer. And here—” After one false throw to get Fai's attention, the big guy tossed Fai three keys on a ring. “Middle one opens the apartment door. Unit 124. I'm gonna park Beauty here and make a quick phone call, be right there.”

“Beauty?” Fai asked skeptically, sweeping his eyes over the rusty, dusty formerly-black Jeep even as he lifted the cooler out of the passenger seat.

“She's Beauty, I'm the Beast,” Kurogane chuckled, and drove over toward the covered parking for residents. Fai tried to cover up the fact that he was genuinely amused by snorting.

“What a jackass,” Lou muttered.

“He ain't even gonna help, big guy like that?” Jorge added.

“Handing you the fucking keys, surprised he doesn't make you park his car like you're the fucking valet.”

Fai sighed deeply. “He just went out of his way to get us a bunch of cold drinks, and now you're complaining that he wants to make a phone call? Anything gonna make you happy today?”

Okay, maybe he had ungraciously had a similar thought, but he wasn't going to say it out loud because he knew it made him sound like a peevish asshole. After all, they were the ones getting paid for moving the guy's stuff, so he might as well get his money's worth. Fai stalked off to apartment number 124 to unlock the door and put the cooler down so they could get going on actually moving the furniture and boxes in. He dropped the cooler on the kitchen counter and frowned at the kitchen. This unit was kinda weird-looking, but he couldn't figure out what was making him feel that way.

“This place better be cheap,” Jorge observed as he came in with the first stacked dolly of boxes. “This carpet's shit.”

It kind of was, really thin and sort of hard. Fai could easily picture a few layered area rugs sprucing it up a bit. He didn't say anything, though. He didn't need more shit from these two, which was surely what he'd get if he revealed an eye for interior decorating.

Fai stepped out the front door and cast a glance over toward the self-proclaimed Beauty and the Beast.

“Oh my god,” he muttered. “We're all assholes.”

Kurogane was parked in a designated disabled space. Which was a good place to park if you needed space to unfold a wheelchair and haul yourself out of your car and drop into the chair with an ease that indicated a lot of practice. Which was happening over there.

Fai sauntered over to Kurogane with a casual air that he hoped didn't look exaggerated. “You got anything in the Jeep that you need me to grab?” he asked.

“Nah, just some medical equipment I'd rather handle myself, but thanks.”

Kurogane noticed that the other two guys had stopped working to stare at him. Fai could see the guy's jaw get tight for a second, a flash of anger in his eyes, but then he rolled himself a little closer and called out, “I labeled the boxes pretty clearly, but let me know if you have any questions.”

“I think we got it,” Lou said, starting himself into motion and jabbing a fist into Jorge's side as he went past. “Fai, you planning on pulling your weight or what?”

Fai sighed through his nose. “I'm coming!” he shouted.

“Hey, uh . . . I can help, but would it be easier if I stayed out the way?” Kurogane asked with a slight grimace. “I feel like I'm gonna take up space more than actually get anything done.”

Fai shrugged. “Up to you. Between you and me, the further away you can get from those two clowns the better, yeah?”

Kurogane shrugged. “Yeah, sure. I'll just move the stuff I've got in the car and try to stay out of everybody's hair.”

“Right. Yeah. Let me know if you need help with anything. I'd better get to work.”

Fai got to work and worked fast to make up for the lost few minutes that Lou and Jorge would try to hold over his head. Some of the guys who worked for J.J.'s had seemed like they weren't real impressed when they saw him on his first day a couple weeks back, but he'd more than pulled his weight since then.

“I know I said this before, but for an anorexic, you're damn tough,” Lou chuckled as they puffed down the brief hallway to the bedroom with a boxspring mattress in their hands. Lou thought he was funny.

“You say the sweetest things, for a Neanderthal,” Fai shot back.

The surprised chuckle echoing from inside the bathroom was not Jorge, and Fai was glad the heat had already reddened his cheeks so he could deny being embarrassed.

Single people were easy to move, or so Fai had found out quickly while working for J.J. It took them only an hour to clear out the truck and re-assemble the chest of drawers and bed—they didn't normally fit furniture together, wasn't really their job, but Lou had started in on it without saying anything. Fai was kind of surprised but in a good way. Maybe for all his beer-bellied misogyny, the guy had some kind of deep-buried moral compass.

The three of them took a bottle of water and a Coke each from the cooler and stood in the open front door to drink them.

“Well, boys, that's it for today. Let's get the truck back to J.J. Game's on in an hour and I wanna get home,” Jorge said.

“Yeah,” Fai said. “You guys wait in the truck a second, okay? I'll just tell the guy we're out.”

The two of them ambled off to sit in the truck with their cold drinks and the radio and leave Fai to the human interaction. Maybe he was new, but he tended to be better with the customers.

Fai surveyed the stacks of boxes lying in drifts around the living room and kitchen, and even though he knew it made him a terrible ableist person he couldn't help poking his head into the stunted hall and calling in the direction of the bathroom.

“You need any help with anything before we take off?”

Kurogane appeared from the bedroom doorway, and Fai was maybe overly-startled to see that he was now up on a pair of crutches and so tall his hair brushed the top of the doorframe.

“My sister's coming to help me unpack, I'm all good,” he said calmly.

“Oh, uh, okay,” Fai mumbled. “Um, thanks for the soda by the way, that was nice. If—if you're sure you've got it—”

Kurogane carefully made his way to Fai, concentrating on his feet and the placement of his crutches. Fai, so that he would not stare and make Kurogane uncomfortable, tried to find something else to focus on. It kind of backfired when he realized he was now watching the sleeves of Kurogane's t-shirt squeeze his frankly impressive biceps.

“Spina bifida,” Kurogane said, while focused on not getting caught in the thin carpet. Carpet which made sense now, and which matched the odd things Fai had noticed about the kitchen without realizing—everything was placed down low to make it easier to reach from a chair.

“I, uh, okay, I don't know what that is, but sure.”

“You can Google it,” Kurogane said, and slapped a couple of folded bills into Fai's palm. “That's for all three of you guys, yeah?”

“Cold drinks and a generous tip,” Fai said cheerfully, deciding to get his shit together. “You call on J.J.'s for all your moving needs, you're about the best customer we've had since I started.”

“Which was when?”

“Two weeks ago,” Fai admitted.

Kurogane was giving him a sort of shifty look.

“I know, what's a nice girl like me doing in a place like this,” Fai joked. “What can I say? I'd rather drive a moving truck than not pay my rent.”

From the open door, the sound of Lou leaning on the horn was pretty obvious.

Fai was reluctant to leave for reasons he was not examining too closely and probably had more to do with Kurogane's biceps than Fai's bleeding heart. “Uh, _when_ is your sister coming?”

“Please stop before you actually start to piss me off,” Kurogane muttered.

“Right. Okay. Bye.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Sorry we're late, boss,” Lou said, springing out of the truck and heading off whatever tirade was waiting on the tip of J.J.'s tongue where he stood with his arms folded over his barrel chest in the door of his office. The floor fan was blowing his comb-over into a halo framing the back of his head, and Fai bit his tongue to keep from laughing. “Cinderella over here couldn't stop flirting with his new fairy godmother.”

“Lou, that was actually almost funny! I'm so proud,” Fai chirped, hoping to get out of the building in the next thirty seconds and avoid any further commentary from Lou or lectures by J.J.

“Naw, Lou's got it backwards, Fai's the fairy—”

“Jorge, shut your mouth,” Fai snarled, his temper boiling over so abruptly that even he was startled.

“Aw, come on, don't get all—”

“Stop.”

J.J. was smirking instead of doing his damn job and telling Jorge off.

“I quit,” Fai said abruptly.

“What?”

Fai went a step further and ripped his J.J.'s-logo t-shirt off and threw it at Jorge's face.

“I quit,” he said again.

“Not yet, you don't,” J.J. said.

“Why not?”

J.J. gestured to the back of the truck that Lou had opened up as soon as they parked. “You're gonna take that box back to the apartment first.”

Fai looked into the back, saw a box clearly labeled 'Kitchen' in Kurogane's distinctively square lettering, and groaned. “Lou can do it.”

“Lou's got a wife waiting dinner on him,” Lou drawled.

“Who closed the truck without checking to see if it was empty?” Fai snapped.

J.J. pointed his finger into Fai's bare chest. “Take the box. And I don't want to see your face in here again, you ungrateful little bastard.”

“Yes, sir,” Fai muttered.

He stalked over and grabbed the box and stuck it into his shitty ten-year-old pre-owned sedan, and drove off without a backward glance.

“I do not have an extra shirt in this car, do I,” he muttered as he joined the now rush-hour traffic on the highway. “I'll just take it to him tomorrow. No, that's even more pathetic. Oh my goooood.”

While parked in the stalled traffic on the exit ramp a few miles down the road, he rummaged into the backseat and to his delight found his gym bag. He'd put it in the car yesterday and then not actually gone to the gym after work like he'd intended. Inside was a faded tank-top proclaiming that he'd been staff for a summer music festival about seven years ago. At least it was clothing.

He knocked on the front door of unit 124 and tried to figure out if there was a gracious way to just hand over the box and leave without actually speaking.

The door was opened by a petite lady with a low ponytail of black hair that was long enough to sit on.

“Hi,” she said.

“Kurogane's sister?” Fai guessed, and held out the box hopefully.

“Tomoyo,” she supplied. “Youou! There is a really cute boy at the door and he has all of your pots and pans!”

“I really hope you're talking about Fai from the moving company, otherwise I'm going to have to wonder how the hell he has that box.”

“You think I'm cute?” Fai grinned, unable to help himself as Kurogane moved into sight. He was back in his wheelchair and had a box full of stuff on his lap.

“I kinda didn't think it was gonna be Lou or Jorge with a description like that,” Kurogane shot back, raising an eyebrow.

“Sorry about your box,” Fai said, gesturing with it. “I'll put it down in the kitchen and get out of here, okay?”

“Kurogane was going to make me dinner but we had to order takeout instead,” Tomoyo said, swinging the door wider and stepping out of the way. “And we totally ordered tons of food, so you're going to stay and have dinner and flirt with my brother some more. What was your name?”

“Tomoyo, I will murder you,” Kurogane said calmly. “He works for the moving company, it's not like he—”

“Actually, I don't,” Fai blurted out as he set the box down. “I kinda just quit. It's Fai, by the way. In case you forgot.”

“I didn't forget. Really? What happened?”

Fai just shrugged and grimaced. “It's fine, whatever. I can wait tables or something.”

Tomoyo was looking back and forth between with delight blooming all over her face. She tugged on Fai's arm and dragged him over to the couch he'd just pushed into place a couple of hours ago.

“Sit,” she urged. “Get comfy. Tell me about yourself.”

“Tomoyo, I have photos of you that you do not want to be made public,” Kurogane said conversationally.

“No, you don't,” she said, waving a hand dismissively.

“Tomoyo . . . Please quit trying to hold Fai hostage and let him go home.”

“I could stay for a while,” Fai said. Then he grabbed a throw pillow and pushed it over his face.

“See, Youou, he wants to stay and eat Thai food with us and get to know you better.”

“Maybe he wants to get to know you better, Tomoyo. Did you ask him?”

“Nope,” Fai muttered through the pillow. “But do I really have to answer that?”

“No,” Kurogane said firmly. “You can just hang out here and eat with us and then I will kick you _both_ out because I'm supposed to start my new job tomorrow and I want to get up early.”

“What's your new job?”

“I'm a computer programmer, I'm starting at a new company, that's why I moved here. Are you going to take the pillow off your face at any point?”

“Probably. Not yet.”

“Okay, fine. Tomoyo, get the guy something to drink, wouldya?”

“What's the magic word?”

“My back is killing me.”

“That is not the magic word I was looking for, but it does the trick,” she said, scrambling up.

Fai carefully peeked out from behind the pillow

“Are you okay?”

“I'll be fine,” Kurogane said impatiently. “It's normal.”

Fai could just about _hear_ Tomoyo rolling her eyes from the kitchen.

“Tomoyo, shut it. He doesn't need my entire medical history.”

“Fai, get out while you still can, he is so  _rude_ ,” she pouted as she minced in and handed him another bottle of water from the cooler from earlier.

“I take it you guys are pretty close,” Fai ventured carefully, because he didn't know what else to say.

“That's what she would have you think,” Kurogane responded. “What about you, you got any siblings?”

“No,” Fai said quietly, playing with his water bottle. God, not the family talk, please not the questions about his family . . .

“Consider yourself lucky.”

_Anything but_ , Fai thought to himself, but didn't say it because there was only so much of a downer you could be the first time you met somebody.

“I'm gonna put the t.v. on,” Kurogane said suddenly. “If you guys don't mind, anyway. There's a game on tonight I wanna watch.”

“No, go ahead.”

“I'll put it on mute when the food comes.”

“No, it's okay, I don't mind at all.”

“You into sports at all?”

“Ummmm I like archery and swimming but I don't think that counts.”

“Sure it does,” Kurogane grinned. “Are you an archer, or just a spectator?”

“I learned how in summer camp, but it's too expensive in practice,” Fai shrugged, but couldn't help grinning back. “Swimming's a little easier. I swam for my school team in high school and my first two years in university.”

_Idiot. Don't bring it up._

“No kidding?” Kurogane asked, looking impressed. “Why'd you quit? Studies taking up too much of your time?”

Fai grimaced. “Something like that.”

Kurogane nodded respectfully. It was pretty easy to recognize when a conversation was not first-meeting material. Tomoyo started puttering around unpacking in the kitchen, an obvious attempt to get out of their way. Fai and Kurogane wound up just watching the baseball game quietly—well, Kurogane was watching it, Fai was just staring at the wall beside the television and marveling at how weird this day was.

The air conditioner was going full-blast to cool down the apartment that had only had the electricity turned back on today, and Fai was beginning to realize that his gym shirt and cargo shorts were not proper attire for sitting beneath the vent. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hey, I'll be right back,” Kurogane said, and swung himself around to head down the hall.

Fai sat there watching a near-stranger's television while his sister, also a stranger, was unpacking dishes, and he was feeling like an idiot. What was he  _doing_ here? Yes, Kurogane was attractive. Yes, he was so lonely than being here in this awkward situation was more appealing than going home. But really. What was he doing? He should be job-hunting online by now. He couldn't afford to be jobless.

“Do you want this?” Kurogane asked, parking alongside the sofa again and holding up a red hoodie. “You looked like you were cold.”

Fai gaped at him for a moment.

“It's clean.”

“No, of course it is, I just—um, thank you.” Fai took it and hurriedly put it on, and giggled just a little at the way the sleeves covered up his hands. He had always thought he was pretty tall and lanky, but this thing was dwarfing him.

“What did you study at school?”

“What?”

“When you were in university. What's your degree in?”

“I didn't get to finish it,” Fai muttered. “But molecular biology.”

“Wow, cool. Well, I don't know anybody who's hiring molecular biologists right now . . .”

“Which is fine, because I'm not one.”

“I do know a hotel that just opened that needs a lot of employees, though. If, uh, you know. Since you just quit your job. And the call center next to my new company is always hiring, I hear.”

“Thanks,” Fai said. “I'll . . . get the details from you in a little bit, okay?”

Kurogane was looking at Fai instead of at the t.v. “Hey, do you want to get out of here? You seem really uncomfortable. I know Tomoyo kind of forced you to, but she's not going to like, handcuff you or anything.”

“I don't want to leave.”

Kurogane blinked. “Okay.”

“In case I wasn't making it obvious, which I probably was not . . . I was flirting with you. Before I turned all weird and awkward.”

Kurogane snorted. “I have that effect on people.”

“No,” Fai said, yanking slightly desperately on the strings of the hoodie. “I just, uh, haven't had much of a social life for . . . a long time. I kind of forgot how to do this. Just, you know, talk to people.”

Kurogane looked him in the eyes for what felt like a really long time. “Are you okay?” he asked very suddenly and very gently.

Fai nearly burst into tears then and there. “We can revisit that sometime. Let's just enjoy the moment.”

The doorbell rang.

“Food!” Tomoyo said cheerfully. “Big brother, you better get it, you've got the money.”

“Let me,” Fai said, starting to stand and reaching into his pocket for his wallet and trying not to think about the fact that he probably wouldn't get a paycheck for a few weeks. “Since you were nice enough to invite—”

“Sit down,” Kurogane said roughly, already pulling the door open. “Hi, yeah, this is us.” The sound of a bag rustling. “Geez, kid, your eyes will get stuck if you leave them that way. It's just a wheelchair. Here, keep the change. Have a good night.”

Fai was giggling into the long red sleeves of the hoodie when Kurogane shut the door and spun around with a dramatic roll of his eyes. He then got stuck staring at Fai, who was sort of curled up and hiding in the hoodie.

“You're fantastic,” Fai blurted out.

“And you're adorable,” Kurogane said, shaking his head in disbelief before cutting his eyes away to the kitchen. “Tomoyo, don't bother with plates, I don't wanna wash them. Let's just eat out of the boxes. Fai, there's a vegetable stew with coconut curry, there's some kind of beef with peppers, there's more vegetables with chicken and peanut sauce, and there's more rice than I can eat in a week. Help yourself.”

“No noodles, right?” Tomoyo said suspiciously as Kurogane unpacked the boxes.

“What do you take me for? Of course no noodles.”

“What's wrong with noodles?” Fai asked, still flushed with pleasure at being called adorable.

“We're both allergic to gluten,” Kurogane answered, gesturing to Tomoyo.

“And lactose!” she added cheerfully.

“I'm allergic to shellfish,” Fai said. “Just, you know, to fit in here.”

“Good thing we didn't order the shrimp curry,” Tomoyo said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Maybe I'd better stick to just . . . rice.”

“Huh, why?”

“If they got a shrimp in any of the other food, my throat will swell up and I'll break out in hives,” Fai said cheerfully.

“Oh, great,” Kurogane muttered. “Now I'll have to start stocking epipens on top of all the other medical crap I have to keep around.”

“What a hardship for you,” Tomoyo said dryly, and handed Fai the container of beef. “Might as well go for it. You only live once.”

Fai laughed and dug in. “I was mostly kidding, you know,” and was incredibly gratified to watch the look of concentrated worry on Kurogane's face start to fade. “I mean, I really am allergic to shellfish and I really will get hives if I eat one, but I probably won't choke to death in your living room. And you don't really need to keep epipens around on the off-chance I might accidentally eat a scallop in your house someday.”

“Why not? You totally seem like the kind of guy who forgets to carry one. I might as well remember for you.”

“I am exactly that kind of guy,” Fai laughed, and took another mouthful of beef because it was very tasty and he was actually really hungry. “Good guess. Even if I am slightly offended that you think I'm dumb enough to eat stuff I'm allergic to. I am also liking the assumption that I'll be around here often.”

“Won't you?” Kurogane drawled. He didn't even look up from dumping chicken in peanut sauce over a container of rice. He missed Fai's gaping because he was busy inhaling the food in a good impression of a vacuum cleaner.

“That is the closest you are going to get to an invitation,” Tomoyo said with a sympathetic pat to Fai's knee and a ladylike nibble at the curry dish. “So, who wants to play board games after dinner?”

“Nobody,” Kurogane said, pointing his fork at her. “I told you. You both have to leave after dinner so I can get ready for bed early and in peace.”

She was pouting at him, but Kurogane wasn't having it.

“You know it's hard enough for me to make a good first impression as it is. I'm not going to blow it by forgetting to shave or something. Now eat your dinner and act like an adult.”

“He is such a grump,” Tomoyo said to Fai, practically unfazed. “Let's ignore him. Do you want to meet up with me tomorrow? I have to look for a new outfit for an interview tomorrow, and I could be talked into taking a break for smoothies and new friends.”

“What kind of interview?” Fai asked, trying to take that chunk of conversation in manageable smaller parts.

“I'm in my last year of a marketing degree, and I'm trying to land an internship. I have to get a  _serious_ outfit. Actually, I'm sewing my own blazer but I'd rather get my pants fitted by someone.”

“You really want me to go have smoothies with you?”

“I'd invite you shopping too but I've been told by certain grumpy people that I am terrifying to shop with. Come on, it'll be fun. I know the hotel Kurogane is talking about by the way, so if you really want to leave your resume there we could swing by.”

“You're not going to get out of it,” Kurogane said. “Save your energy and just accept it.”

“Okay,” Fai said, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

“Tomoyo, I'm making a rule. You can only make him go out with you once a week.”

“You are no  _fun_ .”

“I'm saving his life.”

“What are the rules about hanging out with you, though?” Fai asked Kurogane.

Kurogane froze with his fork halfway to his mouth. “You have to call before you come over, and you have to use the internet instead of me to get your information about spina bifida for at least the first month.”

“Aye, aye, sir,” Fai snickered. “Anything else?”

“No, that's pretty much it.”

“Are you guys completely sure you want me in your life?” Fai asked frankly, feeling more and more comfortable but feeling like he had to make sure. “I'm kind of a hot mess.”

“I have a good feeling,” Tomoyo said. “And that feeling is that you are going to  _slay_ Youou in Cards Against Humanity.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't expecting much of a reaction to this story, and I wasn't expecting that it would be anything but a one-shot, but well. Here we are. Enjoy chapter two, everyone. I'm working on chapter three and now fully expecting this story to go on for a little while.

 

“. . . and I guess she's actually doing HR for Shirasagi, so I told her you were looking and she said I could just email your resume to her and she's going to make sure you get called for an interview, so that's why I wanted you to come to the mall after all, just in case you don't have any interview-ready outfits— Fai?”

Fai just stood for a moment, squinting at the way the sun glared off the floor tiles and lost in the confusion of squeaking shoes and other people's conversations. Tomoyo's words were a lot to take in.

“Fai?”

She put her hand on his arm, which, _no_ — Re-grounded, he slid his arm away from her hand, without explaining why.  Hoping he didn't need to.

“Yeah, I'm listening.”

“I'm talking too much, aren't I?” she smiled. “I don't mean to. I was doing that thing I apparently do, where I keep talking so you don't get a chance to say no. At least, Youou says I do it.”

“Right, so, that,” Fai said, distracted by that and dragging her off-topic. “Do people call him Youou, or do they call him Kurogane? Also, is that your last name too?”

Tomoyo laughed. He loved the way she laughed, bold and joyful. “People mostly call him Kurogane, because your chances of pronouncing his first name correctly are slim to none.”

“Aren't I saying it the same way you are?”

She gave him a pitying look that he probably deserved. “No. But you're right, Kurogane is my last name. And our parents' last name, which I'm sure comes as a shock.”

“So what do people call your dad?”

“Depends on who he's talking to. His name's Kazuo, and if you meet him he'll probably ask you to call him that within about ten minutes.”

“Okay, so your dad is Kazuo but your brother is Mr. Kurogane?”

“Oh my god, I _dare_ you to call him Mister,” Tomoyo said enthusiastically.

He tried to picture the result, and felt strangely anticipatory about the prospect of trying it as soon as possible.  And then that made him feel sort of sick because he was scared of letting himself have this.  “Can I have a smoothie yet?” he whined. “Your family is too confusing for me on an empty stomach.”

“You didn't eat lunch?” she asked as she waved her hand in the direction of what would undoubtedly be a more upscale food court than he was used to seeing in a shopping center. He was a Target kind of guy and was nervous being in the presence of a Hugo Boss store.

“I got distracted by job hunting and forgot.”

“Oh, right, you didn't say anything about the Shirasagi Hotel thing,” she said, reminded of what they'd been talking about when she met him at the mall entrance. “Is it okay if I give my friend your resume? I promise you won't get stuck doing valet parking.”

“I'm not that picky,” Fai laughed. “Although I _will_ cry if they make me cut my hair.”

Tomoyo looked scandalized. “They'd better not. Although I don't know if they'll like the ponytail. I could teach you how to do a french braid!”

“Do you think that would look good on me?” He made a kissy face at her.

“Only one way to find out,” she said, but she sounded confident. “This juice bar does wraps, too, let's get you one.”

“Ah, I'm going to conserve my cash until—”

“Darling, please let me do this,” she said, her hand squeezing his arm. “Just this once.”

“Does your family have some kind of thing about buying people food?” he asked in bewilderment as he pulled his arm away from her again. “Your brother just bought me dinner last night.”

“I am pretty sure it's our language of love,” she said thoughtfully, actually thinking about it for a moment. “Anyway, please order yourself something to eat when you're ordering your smoothie, and please let me get it this time. You can treat me sometime later on, okay?”

Fai shook his head, but he was already resigned and grateful. “Okay. Thank you.”

Once they were seated at a table, Tomoyo leaned forward. “Now: interview clothes. Do you have any?”

Fai had already taken a huge mouthful of curried turkey and lettuce, and it was several seconds before he answered. “I have a few nice pieces that I haven't had a chance to wear lately,” Fai said, “so they're in good shape. I think they'll be a little loose on me, I've lost some weight, but they should be fine.”

“I could take them in for you,” Tomoyo offered just before taking a nibble of a vegan flourless brownie she'd ordered with her smoothie. Because she was the kind of person who would eat a vegan flourless brownie.

“Right, you mentioned you were sewing some of your own clothes. Where'd you learn how to do that?”

Tomoyo shrugged modestly. “My mom taught me how to use a sewing machine, and I ran away with it. I love sewing and designing, but it's mostly a hobby thing. I would _love_ to dress you, Fai. You have a model's body, you're so pretty. Please let me. After I take in your interview clothes, that is.”

“Uh, I mean, I . . .”

“I used to force Youou to be my dress-up doll, but then he went off to study, and now he's _working out_ or something,” she said in dismay. “He got _huge_ , there is no way my designs will suit him anymore. I mean, I usually prefer dressing cute girls, but sometimes I want to branch out and I need a male model!”

“Did he seriously let you dress him up?”

Tomoyo gave him a smug smile. “He has no idea that I've got him wrapped around my little finger. Don't tell him, it will spoil the magic.”

“I did wonder why he moved to the same city you were living in,” Fai ventured. “But you just said he went off to study, so it's more like he's coming back, huh?”

Another smug smile before she took a dainty sip of her drink. “Oh, dear. You _are_ interested, aren't you?”

Fai shrugged. “He's cute. And educated and with a fancy stable job.”

“You gold digger,” she said in delight.

Fai wiggled his eyebrows before taking another bite of his neglected wrap. He was overwhelmed by her kindness and how much she was treating him like her best girlfriend, but he honestly did not have that much pride or shame at this point in his life. Might as well admit to the fact that part of her brother's appeal was being a responsible adult.

“Anyway, to answer your question, yes, he did two years of school here and then finished his degree in _Texas_ ,” she paused to shudder, “ and he actually stayed there for a few years to get job experience with the company who hired him out of school. I think he wanted to prove his independence or something. I can't think of any other reason to live in _Texas_ for nearly five years.”

“You make it sound like it's another planet.”

“Have you ever been to Texas?”

“No. I've left even left the East Coast.”

“I went there to visit him once. After that we convinced him to come back here for visits.”

Fai laughed at the expression she was still wearing, but could hardly blame her. He watched the news. “I'll take your word for it.”

“So, after we're done eating, let's go swing by your place and grab your good clothes, and then we'll go to mine so I can take your measurements and do a little pinning.”

“Um, okay. Why don't I just meet you at your place? My apartment is _not_ worth showing off.” He wasn't ready for that.  For people in his home that weren't him.

Tomoyo looked like she wanted to insist for a minute, but instead she picked up her phone and typed in the directions to her house and texted it to his phone. She'd already swapped numbers with him on their way out Kurogane's door last night.

“There. Can you meet me there in an hour? I want to poke around in a couple of stores here first.”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

Tomoyo took his arm as they exited the food court. He stiffened, and she immediately let him go.

“I'm sorry; I'll try to remember.  That was really rude of me, not to ask first.”

“No, I . . .” he said helplessly. He didn't _want_ to be this upset about being touched, but he didn't know how to fix it.

“Fai, I am so happy to have someone who indulges me without whining or teasing. We're going to be great friends. I'm looking forward to spending more time with you.”

Fai didn't want to cry, but he wasn't sure he could help it. He breathed deeply a few times. “Thanks,” he finally said. “I'm really glad to have met you. I'll see you again in a little bit.”

Fai did cry a little in his car, but nobody saw it so it didn't count.

 

* * *

 

“So,” Tomoyo said brightly when she answered his knock on the door. “My parents were supposed to be in New York, but they're back early, and I just got here so I didn't have time to call you. If you don't want to meet them yet, we can make a run for it and get in your car and go back to your house. I have a tape measure in my handbag.”

“Is there something wrong with your parents?” he asked, trying to make sense of that. He was also thinking that she absolutely talked too much when she was nervous.

“They're just nosy because they love their kids,” she said.

The next voice echoed from further back behind her, somewhere in the house.  “Tomoyo, hon, who's at the door?”

“Too late!” she said, and dragged Fai through the door to meet the man coming down the hallway toward them. “Fai, this is my dad. Dad, this is my friend Fai.”

“Fai Fluorite. Nice to meet you, Mr. Kurogane,” he said, sticking out his hand.

It was shaken with enthusiasm. Fai tried not to stare, but Mr. Kurogane did look remarkably like his son—well, rather the other way around. He was tall and broad-shouldered and had a craggy-looking face and salt-and-pepper hair that spiked up just the same way.

“You a friend of Tomoyo's from school?”

“Not school, no,” he said, not sure if he should lie or not.

The disapproving look the man turned on his daughter was also remarkably similar to one of Kurogane's expressions from last night.

“You know my friend who _is_ from school, Hokuto?” Tomoyo said, unfazed.

“The girlfriend?”

“Uhhhhh not exactly, no,” she replied with dignity and instantly reddened cheeks. “But that's not the point. The point is that she's in the HR department at that new hotel and I'm helping Fai get ready for an interview to work over there. I'm just going to do a little tailoring for him!”

“So how did you guys meet?” Mr. Kurogane asked, looking cheerful and open and welcoming. And standing at the entrance of the hallway with his arms crossed so they couldn't go past him.

“Yesterday. At Youou's apartment.”

“You're a friend of Youou's?” the man asked with surprise, looking over Fai again.

“Sort of,” he mumbled. “Are you aware that your kids have a thing about adopting people against their will?”

“I was not,” he rumbled, and he looked _scary_.

“Love, who are you talking to?”

A dark head popped up from behind the scary man, and Fai kind of wanted to laugh. Tomoyo looked a lot like her mom, just the way Kurogane looked a lot like his dad.

“Fai Fluorite, a friend of our kids.”

A sharp elbow in the man's side made him move out of the way, although not without a melodramatic cry and an expression of deep betrayal.

“Welcome to our home, Fai,” the woman said with a smile, coming forward past her over-actor husband and holding out her arms. She didn't immediately move in for the hug, which Fai appreciated. She waited for his signal about personal space. He took both of her hands for a moment so as not to be rude.

“Thank you, ma'am. I'm sorry if I'm intruding.”

“Nonsense, of course you aren't. Are you staying for a while?”

“Uhhh,” he said, turning to Tomoyo.

“An hour, at least,” Tomoyo said with confidence.

“There isn't much food in the house, since we were out of town and Tomoyo can't cook to save her life. We were going to order something in. You have any preferences?”

“See?” Fai squawked, pointing at the gracious woman and looking at Tomoyo. “What did I say?”

Tomoyo let out a happy peal of laughter. “Just get a pizza, you know, that place that has gluten-free crusts.”

“Sure, hon,” her father said, having apparently recovered from his wife's cruel blow. “After we have a quick bite to eat, we're going over to Youou's to make sure he's settled in okay. You want to come?”

“You mean so you can unpack all his stuff for him?” Tomoyo asked.

Her father opened his mouth, and closed it because Tomoyo was glaring at him.

“Dad, don't. He went all the way to Texas to get away from your overprotective thing. _Texas_.”

“But—”

“He's been living on his own for five years, Dad, I think he can handle hanging his own clothes in the closet.”

“You two need to knock it off,” Mrs. Kurogane said firmly. “We have a guest.”

Fai had been trying to blend in with the wall. He grimaced when two fierce pairs of eyes fell on him.

“Uh, I can come back some other time?”

“It's fine,” Tomoyo said, almost smiling. “Welcome to the family. Is pizza okay with you?”

“It's great. Thank you.”

“I'll show you where my sewing room is now. Ignore me and Dad. We do that.”

Tomoyo put some quiet music on—Birdy, maybe— and got down to the business of taking his measurements. Fai tried not to ask questions, but he didn't have the world's best brain-to-mouth filter.

“Is that really why he moved away?”

Tomoyo sighed. “I think he really did want to go to the school he picked out, but yeah. He never actually said so, of course, but I'm his sister and I know these things. And please understand, my dad is _great_ , I adore my dad. He's a firefighter, did I already tell you that?”

“No, you didn't.”

“He's very proud of his kids and he loves us a lot but he's got this 'father knows best' thing, and I think it really scares him that me and Youou might not actually _need_ him that much anymore. He and Youou were really close, but Youou was having this rebellious phase where he felt like he had to prove he's totally independent and it hurts my dad's feelings when he doesn't ask for help even if he clearly needs it sometimes. I'm not sure either of them are actually over it yet.”

“Is it too late for me to change my mind about being involved in any of this and go home?” Fai asked weakly.

Tomoyo stopped, and looked at him. She put the tape measure down, and gestured him to have a seat in the chair in front of her sewing machine. He sat down gratefully.

“I feel honor-bound to say that if this is about Youou . . . if you can't deal, now would be the time to say so and leave. Because if you break his heart, I will _hurt_ you.” There was a bone-chilling level of conviction in that promise, but her face when she looked at him was soft and caring. “But it's not him, is it?”

Fai shook his head. “No. It's just. Me. There's a long story that I don't want to get into, but I sort of decided I'm better on my own and. Well. I've been that way for a while now. The sudden family drama and being BFFs with you is just . . . scaring me a little. I wanted to try making a friend again, but this is sort of like zero to sixty in five seconds.”

“I'm sorry,” she said. No demurring. Just straight out sorry. God, he liked this girl. “I should have been more sensitive. I completely understand.”

Fai nervously tugged out his ponytail and finger-combed it back into a new one, staring at his feet.

“I really like hanging out with you,” he said quietly. “I think I just need to dial it back a little.”

“Okay. Is it still okay with you if I finish measuring you so I can work out your interview outfit? I'd really like to do that for you. And then I can step back and give you more space.”

“I am having a really hard time with how kind you're being, because I don't have a way to reciprocate any of it right now,” he said, not looking up from his feet.

“I understand that, too. Can you believe me if I say I don't want you to reciprocate, that I'm just doing it because it's something I love doing?”

“Of course, I wouldn't think you were being dishonest, I just . . .” he sighed gustily. “Yes, it's okay if you finish measuring me.”

She did, briskly and with a quiet stream of chatter that was about her favorite t.v. show—Downton Abbey—that made him start to relax a bit.

Her mother knocked on the door. “Kids? Pizza is here.”

“Okay, mom.”

Fai followed them to the dining room beside the kitchen, feeling too nervous and upset to be hungry.

“We got an extra one to take to Youou,” Mr. Kurogane said, and he looked genuinely contrite. “You're right, though, hon. I need to wait for him to call. Would you drop it by his place? I just want to be sure he's settling in okay.”

Tomoyo was shrewd in so many ways.

“I need to get started on some homework, actually,” she said. “But Fai can take it, can't you? Actually, why don't you head over there now, while it's still hot? That way he doesn't have to eat it by himself.”

“That's a nice idea,” Mrs. Kurogane said with a smile, not even suspecting that her daughter was whisking Fai out of the house so he wouldn't have to try to make it through dinner with them.

Fai hissed at Tomoyo, feeling nothing but trepidation. “I have to call. There's a rule.”

Tomoyo giggled. “I'm texting you his number,” she announced, whipping her phone out of her pocket. “And texting him to tell him you're on your way.”

“If he murders me, on your head be it,” Fai announced dramatically.

“He's a grump, but he hasn't killed anyone. Yet.”

“There's a first time for everything.”

 

* * *

 

“Who is it?”

“Fai,” he called through the door.

“Coming.”

The tiny scrape and rattle of the lock and door chain being undone was followed up by the door not opening. Fai was hesitant to actually ask if everything was okay.

The door cracked open. “Just hold your horses. Crutches and doors are not friends,” Kurogane muttered as he slowly shuffled back to make room for Fai.

“On the list of things that I figured would be complicated, I did not even think of opening doors,” Fai said as he came in with a pizza box held aloft.

“You're making a list?” Kurogane snorted. “I'll keep it simple for you. Just write 'everything.' Damn, that smells good.”

“You want me to put it in your oven for a few minutes? It's still warm-ish, but if you want it hot?”

“It's fine.”

Fai looked around and could not see any appreciable difference in the state of the house since he'd left it last night.

“If you give me shit about not unpacking, I'll use this on your head,” Kurogane threatened, wiggling the tip of a crutch at him.

“I'd believe you more if it wasn't obvious you'd fall on your face,” Fai retorted.

“It would be worth it,” Kurogane returned, then he shuffled to his couch. He carefully angled himself, used one hand on the sofa's arm and one hand still on a crutch to guide himself down and collapse into the corner with a sigh. “What a long and shitty day. If you're staying, make yourself useful and get out plates. If you're not, just throw the box over here and go away.”

“I'm staying,” Fai chirped. “I want a slice of this pizza. I have earned a slice because I drove all the way over here. Even if it _doesn't_ have any cheese and is actually a pizza imposter.”

“I can order my own pizza, you know. You're just here because my parents are busybodies and you're too new to try arguing with my dad. And like hell I'm eating cheese. Lactose intolerant?”

“Right, that. Anyway, Tomoyo was the one who sent me over here,” Fai said. “Although that was mostly for my sake. Your parents are . . .”

“Busybodies,” Kurogane repeated. “I really hope you weren't planning on having a heart-to-heart about 'em, though, because I'm going to shove pizza in my face and watch t.v. and none of my plans include conversation.”

“Thank god for that,” Fai muttered, dropping a plate with two big slices into Kurogane's hands and sitting down on the couch next to him. “I found out today that my ear canals have a _quota_ , and your sister _used it_.”

“Heh.” Kurogane was thumbing at the t.v. remote with a grin. “I knew I liked you. I'm working my way through Sons of Anarchy—that show okay with you?”

“Sure, whatever you're watching is fine,” Fai said, having no idea what the show was but appreciating the Xbox that allowed them to stream Netflix on the big t.v. screen.

They ate their pizza and watched an episode without another word between them. Fai had no idea what was happening with the show besides 'violence', but everything was comfortable and exactly what he needed to calm back down. Today had been a long and complicated day.

Then Kurogane threw a cold pizza crust at him.

“Okay, show's over, get out.”

“God, your sister is right. You are _rude_.”

“I'm not rude, I'm tired. Okay, I'm also rude. But seriously, go home.”

“Do you want me to put the leftovers in the fridge or anything?”

“What part of _go home_ are you not getting?”

“Okay, I'm going,” Fai yelped, batting away another bit of crust being flung at him. He jumped to his feet. “You didn't even tell me how your first day of work was, but _whatever_.”

“It was just meet and greet and tour of the building and besides— Why would I tell you? I hardly even know you!”

“You keep letting me into your house,” Fai retorted. “You should really stop doing that if you don't want to talk to me.”

“You have a point,” Kurogane scowled at him, and flung the same pizza crust at him again. “Out.”

“Oh my god, I'm going.”

“Actually, wait.”

“Would you make up your _mind_?”

“Look, just—” Kurogane sighed. “Never mind. Get out of here.”

“What, seriously? Now I'm staying. What is it?”

Kurogane scowled even deeper. Fai wanted to point out that it made him look more like his father, but he refrained.

“My chair is in my bedroom. Would you shove it out here? I'm ridiculously fucking tired and don't want to go get it.”

“Oh. Sure,” Fai answered in surprise, and scurried to do that. “Should I . . . stay for a while?” he called while he was coming back down the hall pushing the wheelchair in front of himself.

“No, you idiot. _Someday_ , you will see me when I didn't just drive twelve hundred miles and start a new job. At some point, you will see me when I am being a badass who lifts weights and bikes ten miles a day in my badass modified bicycle.”

“I will look forward to that amazing and no doubt religious experience,” Fai said dryly. “I'm pretty okay with the badass who is too tired to bicycle and throws pizza at me, though.”

“I'll start throwing the plates at you if you don't go home now.”

“You were the one who made me stay!” But Fai had his hand on the door. “Thanks for sharing your pizza. I'll see you later.”

“Yeah, see you,” Kurogane muttered.

Fai went to his car and got in and leaned his forehead against his steering wheel. “No,” he said to himself. Out loud. “No, stop that. You don't get to like him this much yet. Not allowed.”

He felt a smile so big it threatened to crack his face in half. It actually hurt his cheeks.

“Fine, don't listen to me. You never do.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for excessive alcohol/hangover.

Fai killed it in his interview for the hotel job, and he knew it.

He was charming and attractive, like he was still the old him and not whatever he was now. Still, as the general manager who interviewed him walked him out, beaming and saying he could easily work his way up into management if he liked the job, it hadn't entirely sunk in for Fai what that meant.

“I'd need to see you entering some hospitality management classes, though, to consider you for a promotion past shift lead,” Kakei said as he escorted Fai back into the hotel's gleaming reception area.

“I'll think about it,” Fai said brightly.

“This is a good company to work for, by the way. They'll reimburse you for some of the tuition if the classes you're taking are demonstrably good for their business.”

“I'll definitely think about it,” Fai said even more brightly.

“You'll need to stop by a shop on the next block over who does our uniforms. They also do our dry-cleaning when you need your uniforms cleaned. There's a security deposit on them, but you'll get it reimbursed after your first week.”

“You didn't even make me a job offer!” Fai said, suddenly realizing that this wasn't idle talk about possible futures, this was Kakei telling him that he was hired and Kakei wanted him to take business classes so he could move up in the company.

“I must have forgotten,” Kakei said in an airy tone. “You'll start Monday. Full-time. I think we're paying eighteen per hour, but please head over to HR and get your paperwork done today. They can give you more information about your pay and hours and benefits.”

“Eep.” It wasn't exactly a word and wasn't exactly an answer, but it was the best Fai could do at the moment.

“I'll assume that's a thank you. You look a bit shocked.”

“A bit,” Fai managed to say, and told himself to snap out of it and act like a professional for a few more minutes. “I'm sorry. Thank you so much, I'm very excited for the opportunity. I'll go to HR right now. What time should I be here on Monday?”

“Let's call it eleven a.m. I might move you over to the night shift, depending on how you do with your training, but we'll take things as they come.”

“I'll see you then,” Fai smiled, and shook Kakei's hand, and waited until the man had retreated back to his office before twirling around and letting out a stifled whoop. He whipped his phone out of his pocket and called Tomoyo.

It went straight to her voicemail, but she was probably in class.

“I got the job, I got it! This is Fai by the way. Thank you so much!”

He'd picked up his re-tailored clothing from her the night after dropping it off with her, and she'd said to text her anytime he wanted to hang out again. She'd left him alone the entire five days between then and now. He'd filled the time with torturing himself with next semester's course list for GWU, and occasionally applying for jobs on Craigslist.

He dashed out of the building to go catch the Metro and head to the hotel group's offices where they had their HR people. He never drove his car downtown if he could help it.

He wanted to call Kurogane. They hadn't talked since pizza night, because Fai was trying to rein himself in, but he was a loser with no friends and he wanted to celebrate with  _somebody_ .

Huh. How about that? He really did want to.

Instead, he went to HR and went over his paperwork with Hokuto while her supervisor frowned over her shoulder. This was her first post-uni job and she was still in training. If they'd been alone, Fai would have told her she looked amazing and he loved her style. The slim black pantsuit and colorful flowered headband and giant hoop earrings and shockingly purple flats were something he would totally wear if he could get away with it.

Hokuto seemed to know he was only being serious because he had to, and kept winking at him and silently giggling whenever her supervisor looked away.

He was  _dying_ to ask her if she and Tomoyo were a thing.

He finished his paperwork, accepted the employee handbook, and left the building in such a daze that he walked into no less than three people—all moving at a stride, all wearing tailored pants and crisp shirts. It was a  _nice_ building, and the hotel he was going to be working in was  _nice_ . In his long string of temporary jobs, this was the first one where he felt like he would need to bother brushing his hair before showing up.

His phone was in his hand, and his text message said,  _Can I call you?_ before he could stop himself. He checked the time. Almost five. He held his breath when he told his phone to send the message.

_Fine_

The reply was nearly immediate, and Fai thumbed the call button with butterflies in his stomach. Kurogane picked it up almost before it started ringing.

Fai spoke first, because the butterflies were in control, not him. “I could actually hear your heavy sigh in that text message,” he said cheerfully.

“Cute. What is it?”

Not a friendly beginning. Maybe he should just . . .

“It's nothing, really. I got hired for the Shirasagi Hotel job today, and your sister wasn't picking up her phone, and I just wanted to tell someone. It's no big deal. I'm a loser with no friends so my options for people to call are limited.”

“Way to make me sound like a last resort.”

“No,” Fai said, almost beginning to enjoy himself. “It's just that you come in second to your sister. You can't argue with that, right? She's so lovely!”

“Hmph.”

“Anyway, that's all, so I'll hang up now—”

“Don't. Hang up.”

Oh,  _there_ were all the butterflies'  _friends_ , how nice.

“I'm a loser with no friends, too, you know. And I think that's awesome news. I would go celebrate somewhere with you, but I actually just got slaughtered by a four-hour session with my new OT and I'm dead and not leaving my house, now that I'm in it.”

“Okay, yeah, that's— um, I don't know what OT is, but I didn't mean you had to celebrate anyway, it's cool.”

“Do you want to come over here?”

Fai  _had_ been walking back to the metro stop, but now he ran into yet another business person because he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Ooo, sorry! Um, what? Come over?”

Kurogane was inviting him over. Of his own volition. What?

“I was about to start cooking. You want a celebratory burrito?”

Fai covered his grin with his free hand and took a deep breath. “You make homemade burritos? I am so there. I'll be about forty minutes?”

“Sure. See you.”

“Okay, bye,” Fai sang into the phone, and then ran down the stairs to get on a train.

He made a stop at a cheap liquor store for shitty tequila, because this was a  _celebration_ .

A short bus ride later, he was standing at the door to Kurogane's apartment and looking down at himself with a grimace.

Charcoal gray slacks and crisp pale blue shirt and simple watch. He'd looped his hair up into a bun again because it was still too hot for anything else. This was fine, right? Maybe it was too much, maybe he should have tried to go home and change into something more casual.

“Okay, get a  _grip_ ,” he said out loud, and knocked on the door.

He held the bottle of tequila out in front of him as Kurogane pulled the door open. He was actually a lot quicker when he was in the chair, since he could just sort of pivot back. Except he didn't, because he was _staring_ at Fai. Like, just-sitting-there-gaping. Fai cleared his throat.

“I know it's a school night for you, Kuro-guy, but you have to do one shot with me, okay?”

Kurogane actually closed his eyes for a second. Fai must be doing something right if he had the guy praying for strength already, right? He grinned.

“Sorry, I can't,” Kurogane said grudgingly. “I'm on medication.”

Oh. Oops. Maybe he should have at least asked whether the guy drank, instead of just  _showing up with alcohol_ like a total  _jerk_ . Okay. He had made the situation awkward, it was up to him to un-awkward it.

“That's cool,” Fai said, breezing right in and heading for the refrigerator. “I'll do the tequila and you will do a shot of . . . OJ!” He plunked the carton of juice and the liquor bottle down side-by-side on the kitchen table. “I'd ask where the drinking glasses are, but I have a depressing feeling that the answer is 'still in a box.' We can toast from the bottle though, which is also fun!”

“I unpacked the glasses,” Kurogane said, forehead still furrowed as he crossed the room to join Fai in the kitchen. “Cupboard to the right of the sink.”

Fai located them and poured them each a splash of their designated beverage with drama. “Quit scowling and get over here and take your juice and toast me,” he demanded.

“Who just looks in a man's fridge without asking?” Kurogane grumbled, despite the fact that he was obeying and taking his glass.

“I should have known you'd be a fridge prude,” Fai laughed, and raised his glass. “Here's to health insurance coverage!”

“I'll drink to _that_ ,” Kurogane said, reaching out to clink their glasses together. “And to a job that makes you happy.”

“Happier, anyway,” Fai said before he could stop himself, then drank. “Woohooo!”

Kurogane obliged him by knocking back his orange juice like it was a real shot. He held out the glass to Fai. “Make yourself useful and fill that up with water.”

“What is the magic word?” Fai asked, hands on his hips.

“Please.”

“Ooooo, you _do_ know it!”

Fai filled them both up with water and took the opportunity to inspect dinner preparations laid out by the stove.

“Did you make me guacamole?” he gasped.

“I made guacamole,” Kurogane replied. “And you can have some.”

“Veggies and beans and salsa and homemade guac . . . fabulous. You can have me over for dinner anytime.”

Kurogane snorted. “I figured you'd be giving me hell about no cheese.”

“A man's got a right to lactose intolerance in his own house,” Fai said. He set their water down on the table, and couldn't resist winking. “Should I help with anything?”

“Naw, I got it. Have a seat. Tell me about the job?”

Fai chattered away about the job, the hours, Kakei, and gushed about how well Tomoyo had done with his clothes.

“I look nice, right?” he said, batting his lashes, which was lost on Kurogane because the grump never even looked up from his pot of black beans and skillet full of sliced vegetables.

“Tomoyo always does a good job,” Kurogane answered. Jerk. What a jerk. He had been staring at Fai, and Fai wanted to hear him _say it,_ but now he was covering it up like a _jerk_.

Fai kept talking, because that was how he kept himself from thinking too hard about how long it had been since he'd had someone to talk to like this and how good it felt and how badly he would ruin it because he wasn't allowed to have nice things. He could ruin the moment all by himself later, at home, with the rest of the tequila.

Kurogane waved him over to dish out his fillings into warm corn tortillas. Without asking, Fai took Kurogane's plate away from him and carried both plates to the table. He fully expected to get yelled at, but Kurogane didn't say a word.

“Nosy question,” Kurogane interrupted after the first few mouthfuls—which Fai enjoyed with blissful noises designed to make Kurogane squirm.

“Okay,” Fai said, even though he wasn't sure it was.

“What would you actually want to be doing? You know, as a job?”

“Figure skater,” Fai replied, and shoved approximately half a burrito in his mouth.

Kurogane stopped eating, narrowed his eyes, and just looked at Fai in silence. The option for Fai to keep joking until he backed off was there, but instead, he answered with truth.

“Stem cell research.”

“Okay. But that's not an option?”

Fai pointed a fork at him. “I'm sorry, but you must unlock friendship level ten before you can pursue this line of questioning.”

Kurogane shrugged and picked his own fork back up. “Okay.”

“Each free meal is a quarter of a level,” Fai added, because this was seriously such a good burrito.

He succeeded in making Kurogane chuckle. “So if I invite you over one more time, I get to move up to level two? What do I get to ask at level two?”

“My favorite ice cream flavor,” Fai answered, because his stomach had just twisted in sudden panic. This was his third time over here at Kurogane's place. They'd known each other for _a week_. “And nothing microwaveable counts,” he added, and gave his full attention to his food.

Kurogane seemed to realize that he'd reached a boundary of some kind, because he shut up. They finished their food in a quiet that was only very slightly awkward. It wasn't too bad, honestly. Except the part where Kurogane was looking more and more tired every minute.

“A single guy living on his own cannot be judged for leaving the dishes in the sink overnight,” Fai said.

Kurogane looked up with a strained smile. “I'm that obvious?”

“Yes. I still don't know what OT is, by the way.”

“It's an occupational therapist. I had my first meeting with my new therapist here today. She is large and terrifying and extremely competent. After we discussed my goals and went over my records from my old OT, she took me into the equipment room and lit into me like she thought we were gonna meet all my goals by next week.”

Fai smeared burrito juice around his plate with his finger.

“Do you need to pee or something?”

“What?”

“You're squirming. It's weird.”

“Are you ever _not_ rude?”

“You are trying really hard not to ask me about my medication and therapy, aren't you?”

“No,” Fai said, far too immediately. “What friendship level am I at?”

“Negative point five. What happened to Google?”

“I've read, like, every word from the first two pages of search results,” Fai protested. “That doesn't mean every word is about _you_. But don't worry about it, I'm not asking questions because I'm not dumb. That's like, at least three friendship levels away from being any of my business.”

“You seriously read all that?”

“You told me to.”

“I didn't think you actually would.” Kurogane was scowling like he was angry. What the hell was wrong with him; where did he get off getting mad at Fai for doing exactly what he said Fai should do? “What the fuck are you hanging out with me for? Is it morbid curiosity?”

“Excuse me?”

“If you read all that, you should have figured out why I never have friends.”

“What the  _hell_ ,” Fai breathed, noticing that he was also getting angry. “No, I don't know. Feel free to enlighten me.”

“I'm not fun to fucking be around!” Kurogane shouted. “People always drop out after a few weeks, when they find out I don't want to go out, I don't want to drink, I'm always tired or hurting, so fucking  _whatever_ . You're better off just going now.”

Fai was stunned and he had to splutter nonsense for a few seconds to keep Kurogane from talking while he was trying to regroup. “Do you give everybody this speech? Huh? No wonder you don't have any friends if you yell at all of them to go away!”

“I don't give anyone this speech, because  _I usually don't have to_ !”

Fai stood up, unable to keep still. “So what is it about me that makes you feel like you have to, then?”

“I actually like you!” he roared, leaning forward like he meant to get in Fai's face if he could.

Fai's anger stumbled over a rock. “You're yelling at me to go away because you like me?”

“You  _will_ flake out, because everyone does, and I want you to do it now before—” Kurogane's voice was shaking, and maybe he wasn't as angry as he looked.

Fai sat down again, abruptly. He splayed his hands on top of the kitchen table. “I am going to find and murder everyone you've ever met,” he snarled.

“What?”

Fai took a deep breath. “I am not going away, and I want to kill everyone who did that to you. With my bare hands.”

“Look, you're not getting it, you—”

“Do you know what I do for fun?”

“How is that relevant?”

“I sit on my couch all by myself and play sad songs on my guitar, and then I go lay on my bed and map the water stains on my ceiling while I think about being a failure. That's it. Those are my hobbies. Because through a combination of hating myself and being really poor, I have no life. You and your sister and my landlord are the only numbers in my phone.”

“Look, I— I'm—”

“You think you've got some kind of monopoly on being lonely and tired?”

Kurogane's shoulders slumped. “No.”

Fai drove the heels of his hands into his eyes, because looking at the other man was getting too difficult. “Coming over here to watch t.v., even just for an hour? Is  _fun_ . I  _like_ you. I like hanging out with you. I don't care about . . . whatever you think I'm supposed to care about.”

Kurogane was quiet for a long time. Fai stayed where he was, staring at his dirty plate. When Kurogane let out a sigh that sounded aggravated and tired, Fai found himself smiling.

“So. Do you want to come to the Air and Space Museum with me on Sunday? I haven't been since I was a kid.”

Kurogane sighed, again. “Yes. I want to come to the museum with you on Sunday.”

“Good,” he said, leaping up and clearing their plates from the table and taking them to the sink. “And maybe invite Tomoyo over afterwards to finally play those board games she wanted to last week?”

“I am going to regret you.”

“I have no doubt. I'm gonna let myself out and go home before you start flinging leftovers at me, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Please and thank you in the same day? You keep that up and I'm going to start thinking you have manners after all.”

“I can still throw stuff at you.”

“Nope, I'm going, I'm going! I'll see you on Sunday! Text me!”

“Ugh.”

“Goodnight!”

Tomoyo had tried to call him back three times, he found out when he checked his phone on his way back to the bus stop. He didn't really have the energy to call her now.

 

* * *

 

The pounding started in his head. He lay very still and hoped that it would forget he was there and go away.

When the pounding moved and morphed into words and light that tried to stab him in the face, he turned his back on it and tried to fall back asleep.

“Youou, let me in before your coffee gets cold, at least.”

He wasn't sure if he could get away with ignoring that.

“Why aren't you answering your phone. Youou, if you are sick or hurt in there . . . I'm letting myself in if you don't answer in the next ten seconds!”

The level of worry in Tomoyo's voice provided the motivation that Fai needed to stumble to his feet and answer the door.

“Ugh,” he said immediately. He was wearing a gigantic red hoodie that smelled vaguely of gasoline and cooking oil and he was probably going to regret the action and vomit, but he still pulled the hood up over himself and tried to hide from the sun.

“Fai?”

She had sunglasses pushed up into her long, loose hair, and some kind of summer romper suit that was so blindingly white that Fai had to yank the strings on the hood and cocoon himself inside away from the light. Evil, evil sun.

“Ugh,” he repeated. Then a more important thought occurred to him. “That is the sun. Because it is the morning.”

“Yes. Saturday morning, in fact.” Since he had his eyes closed, he could not confirm the feeling, but he was pretty sure she was glaring at him. “You slept here? Are you guys . . . really? Also, are you okay? You don't look well, Fai.”

“I am not okay,” he whimpered. “Based on my history with these particular excruciating symptoms, this is a tequila hangover. Please come inside away from the light and please whisper everything you say so my head doesn't explode.”

Tomoyo followed him in, and kicked the door shut with the heel of her foot. It was. So loud.

“Did you get my brother drunk and try to seduce him?” she hissed, which was almost like whispering. She was balancing a paper coffee cup in each hand, but she looked like she rather wanted to fling them at him.

Fai patted himself gingerly. “Pants are on. Giant sweatshirt. I think no. Also because I was sleeping on the couch, which I think was deliberate.” He frowned at the spill of fleece blanket that was cascading off the couch onto the floor.

“Okay. And where is Youou, exactly?”

“Setting a new speed record for out of bed, into the chair and into pants,” answered the man himself, appearing in the hallway.

Kurogane's voice was extremely gravelly in the morning, apparently, and there was a shirt that he probably was planning on wearing sitting in his lap. Fai was very torn between delight and appreciation over the bedhead and beautiful shoulders, pain and nausea that was only being made worse by his close proximity to the oily smell in the hoodie, and utter _horror_ at seeing the bottle of tequila almost hidden by the blanket on the floor. It was _empty_.

“You don't drink,” Fai said to Kurogane, faintly.

“I know I don't,” he replied, yanking his shirt on.

“I did not drink all of that last night. The whole thing?”

“Barring that one shot you did on Wednesday when you came over for burritos? And the shot you insisted on pouring on the ground outside in memory of our ancestors last night?”

“Ohhhhhh,” he groaned, and flopped back down face-first on the couch. “I'm so sorry.”

“You don't remember a thing that happened last night, do you?”

“Nope. Please whisper, I'm very fragile.”

Kurogane's response was to snort. Tomoyo's was to shove the coffee cups into her brother's hands.

“I'm going back to the cafe and getting myself a new coffee, these are for you two. I'll be back in fifteen minutes or so.”

“Hey, hang on,” Kurogane tried to protest, but she was already out the door. Fai could feel Kurogane's eyes on the back of his head. “Get over here and get these. I'm not a fan of moving hot beverages with the cup-between-the-knees trick.”

“I can't move, I'm dying.”

“You kept me up until three in the morning, pal. You're taking these, or I'm chucking them at your head.”

“Ugh,” Fai said, his go-to response for the day. But he did carefully get up and take the coffee to the side table by the couch before throwing himself back down.

“I'll get you some aspirin,” Kurogane said, wheeling himself around and heading for the bathroom.

“My hero. Do I even want to know what happened yesterday?”

“What's the last thing you remember?”

“Coming over here to pick up my tequila. I don't remember wanting to drink it here.”

“Yeah, well,” Kurogane called from the bathroom. “You said you were overdue a night of insomnia full of self-hatred and reminding yourself that you're not allowed to have friends. Being drunk all weekend was supposedly so you wouldn't be as sad when you flaked out on the museum and didn't respond if I tried to call you.”

Fai sat up and took one of the coffee cups and sniffed at it experimentally. “Did I really say that to you?” he sighed.

“Actually, you just said you were gonna get drunk because you didn't think you could sleep, at least that's what you said when you showed up. You admitted the rest of it about halfway through the bottle.”

Fai took a sip of the coffee. The acid in it seemed to burn on the way down, and suddenly the smell of gasoline was cloyingly heavy. He squeezed past Kurogane in the hall in his sprint for the bathroom, and then he locked himself in to puke.

A few minutes later, mouth rinsed and actually feeling somewhat better, he took a tentative step into the hallway. Kurogane immediately called out, “There's a spare toothbrush in the top drawer.”

Fai ducked back into the room and brushed his teeth, and when he re-emerged, he retrieved the cup of coffee and shuffled over to sit at the kitchen table. Kurogane was in the kitchen chopping something on a cutting board.

“Welcome to friendship level six,” he sighed, cradling the cup and hunched over it.

“Yeah, you too.”

“Huh?”

“You seriously don't remember anything you did yesterday.”

Fai took several long swallows of coffee. He looked at Kurogane's shoulders, which were being presented to him as though they were a weapon of some kind, and squinted with thought. “Did I come out of the bathroom and slap you with a catheter bag and remind you that I read the whole internet so I already knew about that? Because I seem to remember that happening.”

“Of all the things you did . . . you fucking would remember _that_.”

“I can't believe you classify that as me leveling up. But anyway. Did I do anything else ridiculously embarrassing?”

“Not really. You made me find some karaoke tracks on Youtube so you could sing along. Mostly we just played video games, though. I took your keys and made you stay here, so you don't gotta feel that guilty. I could have let you go home when you were still sober or called you a cab later if I wanted you to leave. I'm the one who got you a blanket and told you to sleep here.”

Fai was guzzling water and aspirin when Kurogane said that, and took the opportunity afforded by the excuse to think about that for a little while.

“Why?” he finally asked.

Was it embarrassing, that he'd been inexcusably drunk in a man's house without invitation? That he'd forced Kurogane to listen to him _sing_? That he'd kept him up half the night with emotional outbursts and prying into the man's _bathroom drawers_?

Yes. Exeedingly so.

And yet all he felt when Kurogane turned around to look at him was . . . warm.

“Because you're my friend,” Kurogane said. “It was a bad night, and I didn't want you to be alone.”

Fai put his arms on the table and buried his face in the sleeves of his borrowed hoodie and grinned to himself while Kurogane carried on making him breakfast.

_You're out of control. End this._

“Shut up,” he whispered to himself.

“What?”

“Nothing. Is Tomoyo actually coming back?”

“She'd better. She's supposed to go with me to the grocery store this morning so I can stock up on big stuff.”

“Can I come?”

“How fast can you go home and take a shower?”

Fai was going to be sweating tequila all day and there was no way he didn't smell like a nightmarish horror. He was lucky Kurogane hadn't rolled him up in the blanket and thrown him out already.

“Feed me breakfast and wait for me to come back in fresh clothes, and I'll carry all the heavy stuff,” he grinned, already knowing that Kurogane would roll his eyes but let him tag along anyway.

_He's going to hate you later._

“Level six, so there,” he muttered, and drank his cold coffee.

 

* * *

 

“I just called them on Thursday,” Kurogane insisted to Tomoyo, as Fai staggered behind them with a heavy re-usable canvas sack in each arm. Kurogane was not kidding about stocking up—bags of dry rice, beans, rice noodles, potato flour, and canned tomatoes were supporting the weight of the fresh produce he had planned for the upcoming week—and he was also not above taking Fai up on the offer to carry it.

“I know, you've called them twice. But you haven't had them over, and you know as well as I do that you can _call_ them from Austin. Mom would never say it, but I think she's worried you don't want them around.”

“I'm not having them over until I finish unpacking and get a couple of chairs for the living room delivered,” he responded, handing her the small bag of eggs and fragile stuff he'd been carrying on his lap and beginning the process of getting himself into the Jeep.

Fai heaved the bigger bags into the backseat of Beauty and climbed in while Tomoyo waited patiently. She was giving Kurogane a long and quiet stare that would have stopped Fai right in his tracks. Maybe Kurogane was immune from years of exposure.

Fai was the one who broke the stubborn silence. “Do you not want to see them?”

“What?”

“Are you trying to not see them? You guys don't get along?”

“I want to see them,” Kurogane grunted as he pulled himself into his seat. “I miss them like hell. But I'm not taking taking a step back after we've moved forward, and we would if they see anything that looks like I don't have it all together. Like I can't handle it.”

“They meaning your dad, I take it.” God, Fai was an idiot, why did he keep opening his mouth?

“Tomoyo!” Kurogane snapped, glaring at his sister.

“He was over at our house, okay?” she snapped back. “He met them. He had to see me and Dad have a mini-argument about who was bringing you that pizza.”

Kurogane rested his forehead on the steering wheel. It was a very cool steering wheel, in Fai's opinion, with little levers and knobs so the whole vehicle was operated by hand instead of foot.

“Scratch what I said this morning. Welcome to friendship level seven. Maybe eight.”

Fai laughed a little and reached over the seat to give Kurogane a small pat on the back of his spiky head.

“I need more free meals before I start talking about my family, sorry.”

“Nobody said you had to.”

“Anyway, if you want to see them, why don't you just go to their house?”

It was more easy to see that they were siblings when they both rolled their eyes at the same time.

“That's license to assume something's wrong with his place,” Tomoyo answered.

“You only have a few boxes left, right?” Fai asked as Kurogane started up the Jeep. “Like, some stuff for the kitchen and living room, some books and knickknacks?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I need to hang a shelf in the bedroom and assemble a bookshelf in the living room before I can unpack those. I was gonna try to get to it this weekend.”

“Let's do it now, after we put the groceries away,” Fai said.

“What?”

“I'm going to build your bookshelf. I did construction work last summer. I'm good with tools.”

“I can't decide whether to tell you I don't trust you with tools, or ask you why you're gonna waste your Saturday working on my to-do list.”

“So remember on Wednesday when I yelled at you?” Fai asked in his perkiest voice. No way Tomoyo wasn't going to have about a hundred questions about that, but she was already worming her way deeply into his life, too, so maybe that was okay.

“When we yelled at each other?”

“When we were yelling, yes, and I said that hanging out with you is fun.”

“I recall.”

“Good.”

Everybody was quiet for a couple of minutes. Tomoyo was even better than Fai had thought she was, which was saying something, because she was checking messages on her phone and not asking any questions at all.

“Going to the museum tomorrow is the fun kind of hanging out.”

Fai reached over the seat again and smacked Kurogane in the back of the head. “You just couldn't resist, could you?”

“Ow?”  
“Pretending I have hammered a hole in your bedroom wall so that you freak out and try to take away the tools is also going to be fun,” Fai said firmly. “Now shut up and drive.”

“Actually . . . why don't you invite Mom and Dad over tonight?” Tomoyo spoke up.

“What?”

“Come on, you'd rather have it be today than a weekday, wouldn't you? Tell me I'm wrong.”

“Are you ever wrong? Like, why do you bother asking?”

“Good, I thought so. We're gonna stop by Rise for gluten-free cupcakes because it will make Mom and me happy and since Fai is helping, the house will be put together in plenty of time. You can cook dinner, because you cook now and it will impress Dad.”

“Any requests for dinner?” Kurogane asked, obviously already resigned to going along with her.

“Let me think.”

“I'm talking to Fai. I'm not gonna let him help me out all day and send him home hungry. He gets to take some home. I'm totally being rude again and telling you you're not invited to have dinner with us, by the way.”

“I wasn't expecting to get invited to your family dinner,” Fai replied, neither surprised nor hurt by that. “Do I really get to make dinner requests?”

“Ask for stir-fry beef with ginger,” Tomoyo said, giving him a pleading expression.

“I'm not going back to the store just for fresh ginger.”

“Of course not, I'll grab it while you and Fai are arguing about how to put your shelf together!”

“I don't get to help you pick out cupcakes? I want a cupcake.”

Kurogane gestured widely with one hand before putting it back on the controls. “I endure years of surgeries and physical therapy. I go away for school. I move out on my own, teach myself how to cook and drive and everything. I get to feeling like I actually did this right and can handle my own shit now. What do I get when I move back here? A pair of gossiping girlfriends that apparently _run my life_.”

“You love it that way, shhh,” Tomoyo said, patting his knee.

 


End file.
